They'd better not

I was having a tuna salad
when an old man asked me
whether my Kobo was a phone
I smiled back and said it wasn’t
It’s an e-reader
you read books on there
Another old man overheard us
asked me whether I could send texts with it
I said no you can’t
because it’s not a phone
There was a third old man
who sat across the table from the first old man
who didn’t speak
and I swear to god
if he did
I would lose it
\
After my tuna salad
I strolled to the park
I found a bench in the shade
and sat down
In front of me was a field
where children were playing football
One boy kicked the ball
and another boy ran towards it
He kicked it back to the first boy
who was running towards it
aiming to catch it
If he didn’t
and the ball reached me
I swear to god
I would lose it
\
I was not in a good mood